Happiness Above Hurt

I find it interesting when viewing other's blogs how many hurt people there are out there. What I find even more interesting is reading the reasons why they feel hurt or think they feel hurt. I just want to first start off by saying that emotional hurt is a serious issue, it is not to be taken lightly. I do, however, take issue with those who claim that their hurt is certainly worse than those of others, those that find it neccessary to blame someone or something for that hurt, and those that claim that those living through the same experience and not feeling hurt are just living in denial.

I often think of emotional pain in the same terms as physical pain. We've all heard the term "pain threshold" or someone claiming to have a high tolerance for pain. Could it be that the same thing exists for emotional pain as well? I've also heard on numerous occasions how painful papercuts are, even though the cut is small and shallow, the pain is significant in relation to the size of the wound. I think most have also heard about differing experiences regarding recovery time, even though going through the same procedure, one might be back to normal in a few days while someone else may take a few weeks. In the same context, the condition that a person is in prior to the ailment/illness can also determine to the length of recovery. Someone in top physical shape may be quicker to recover than someone that has other health issues.

As mentioned in previous posts, I find it fascinating how complex people are and how two people can live through the same experience and come out of it completely different. I'd like to think that some of that maybe determined by emotional health coming into a situation, threshold of emotional pain, relativity, or a combination of all three. With all that in mind, I also have issues with those who use emotional pain as a crutch and continue to place blame for their continued troubles. One my ask what an appropriate time period is for healing? I don't claim to have the answer to that and as mentioned above is different for everyone. I do, however, feel there is a time when you must move past the hurt and I do feel that this is a conscious decision. A conscious decision to take responsibility for your life and stop being a victim. A conscious decision to retake the power that only you have.

So far I haven't had a big following on this site and maybe I never will. Perhaps my lack of explanation as to who I am may play a role. The words that I write aren't coming from out of my rear, sorta speak, they are a result of experience, study and observation. I am sure there are a lot of people who will not agree with my premise and for whom my point of view will not work. I am writing to reach only one person, if that's all I reach, that will be enough.

I spent years in therapy and on anti-depressants. I battled an eating disorder, attachment issues, sadness. My therapists looked to find fault somewhere in my background, unattentive/unloving parents, abuse, something repressed, you name it. The fact of the matter is, I had a very normal childhood, not perfect by any means, but healthy in most respects. I was not the product of divorce, early loss and I was not adopted (I had to put this in there because I see so many that blame being adopted for all their troubles-I will address this issue at a later date in more detail.) What lacked in my therapy was their inability to teach me or help me learn what happiness is and what it isn't and where it comes from. In fact I am not even sure this was addressed. We get so many misguided and convaluted images of what happiness is and what it isn't through the media, TV, magazines etc. Our emotions are manipulated by advertisements and popular media to a degree that I feel is irresponsible. OK. I realize this sounds like a lot of blame here. Let me back up a little. This is not about blame, this is about recognizing what is truth and what is fiction.

I will continue to write more later, but before I end up on a completely different subject, ooops, already did that, I will wrap it up for now.

What images of happiness do you hold onto? Where did those images come from and are they realistic?