I've mentioned in previous posts that I am a mother to a wonderful little girl. I am blessed to be her mother and will never take loving her for granted. I believe in my heart that I am a better person because of her and that I will continue to strive to be even better, because of her. My daughter doesn't share my genes, she doesn't have my eyes, hair or nose. Outside, I have nothing to do with her beauty, inside, I believe that I may have a little more influence.
November is Adoption Awareness Month. I read a lot of blogs and many are written by adoptive parents. Our journeys are sometimes similar, but the stories are uniquely our own. I no longer consider my daughter to be "adopted" or myself to be an "adoptive" mother. She is my daughter, I am her mother. I can't imagine the bond could be any stronger between us had I given birth to her. From the moment my husband and I laid eyes on her, she was our child. That being said, we are not her only parents and the love they have for her is not lessened by the fact that they are not raising her, no more than the love that we have for her is lessened by the fact that we didn't give birth to her.
In my experience, adoption is often misunderstood, from the process to the people involved. I strongly believe in the process of strictly screening all potential adoptive families. To me it is about the safety and well being of the child, not about my personal feelings or right to privacy. In my experience, I found the process to be neither intrusive or overly restrictive. We were questioned, interviewed, screened and fingerprinted, but it was nothing that I didn't understand to be totally necessary. I found it to be way less personally invading than the whole IVF process. With adoption, no one every asked me to strip from the waist down or spread my legs in a room full of strangers...but I digress.
My daughter's other mother is a wonderful, intelligent, and caring woman, who continues to show love and concern for her daughter. She is not a drug addict, whore or any of the other stereotypical images found in the media.
Adoption is expensive, but we are not rich nor are we famous. We may not be Angelina and Brad, but our daughter has everything that she will ever need and we will do all we can to make sure she has every opportunity.
My daughter is not bound by heredity or traditions, she is free to be who she wants to be. We have no preconceived expectations that she will be a good dancer, like her mother or good in English, like her father. She will be able to explore and find her own greatness. We refuse to allow her to be identified as "adopted" as if it makes her strange or different. She is special, not because of where she came from, but because of who she is and who she allows herself to dream and become.
I hope that I have offered a little insight to the beauty of adoption, what it is to us and why I wouldn't have it anyother way.
